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Life examples

1. Keep the promises you make to yourself

A very interesting experience with the authors of "HBR" was shared by Katie Torpey, director and screenwriter. Persistent agents succeed in her field. Katie also achieved success – created several films and television series, but this was an achievement «contrary to ». She tends to be silent at meetings, she rarely says what she thinks. Instead, she says what her colleagues want to hear. "I was like a gold piece," everyone liked me. I didn't want to upset anyone, I didn't want to cross anyone's path," says Torpey.

She brought her work to the producers, and they allowed themselves to underestimate her. "I got the job easily. But not at all the one she was worthy of. She blames no one but herself. "I accepted the terms because I was afraid to demand the payment I deserved." She was afraid that the project would fail, that they would find another director. At some point, Torpey realized that this property of her character hindered her career development. She decided to change her character. I promised myself: if communication ends, and she does not say what she wants, then within 24 hours she is obliged to correct the situation. For example, Katie left the meeting without telling her supervisor that the project was not ready yet. And within 24 hours I wrote to him about the state of affairs. The effort as a whole was not in vain, but it was difficult for Katie to deal with the consequences of her untimely silence. It turned out that it was easier to behave decisively from the very beginning. "To live by directly expressing your thoughts and feelings means to live with a light heart. It's more convenient than keeping everything to yourself," says Katie. The development of healthy arrogance has changed Katie's career opportunities for the better. "I am respected. I have the same skills, but now I'm much more confident in myself. People understand that I will not take a job that does not warm the soul and does not give financial returns. If the producer offers to accept low pay, Torpey is able to defend her position: "I will do the job flawlessly. But you will have to give me as much as I require."

2. Be in your place

Dzhigar Parikh worked as a consultant in a law office and quietly hated every visit there. He had to hire a personal growth specialist to find his own field of activity. But soon he realized that the problem was not in the profession, but in the office where he worked. His coach suggested an idea: to build a personal dating network and organize your own legal practice. But Dzhigar was shy, it was uncomfortable for him to start a conversation with outsiders, and he could not imagine the independent formation of a client base. Dzhigar started small. He promised himself that he would tell at least one or two people a day that he would soon open a law firm. Even such a modest task turned out to be extremely difficult. "I didn't want my then employer to find out. I had to be careful." Three or four times a week, he reluctantly participated in some event that could help him expand his circle of acquaintances. Gradually, it became so familiar that Parikh began to easily talk to people in the subway or in a cafe. "One day I got into conversation with a doctor who was an entrepreneur himself. I received some very valuable advice. A couple of casual conversations turned out to be simply priceless. All this gave him the confidence he needed to leave the firm. "If you don't have the nerve, you have to put up with a job where you can't see happiness. And I had a disgusting skill – I could endure for a long time. Everyone who knows me now does not believe that I was once squeezed. But the changes were not easy for me. I still have to remind myself sometimes that you need to be able to talk to people," says Parikh.

The meaning of impudence. Comments Laura Bach, Export Manager, Moscow:

• efficiency. No need to wait for the partner to be comfortable with cooperation;
• act in optimal conditions for you;
• to have the courage to reject such categories as "decent/indecent", "beautiful/ugly". You translate the problem into the plane of "courage/timidity" and solve the problem head-on;
• financial benefit. For example, the ability to intercept a transaction that is implemented on optimal terms for you;
• impudence is a different approach to using contacts. I saw a person once, but you realize the advantages of dating without hesitation.

In fact, impudence is something that provides additional degrees of freedom in business. However, it is believed that no one likes arrogance in business. After all the "pros" and "cons" listed in this article, it remains to add: basically, it is those who do not have these degrees of freedom who do not like.

Author: Alexandra Chekalina

Photo: Shutterstock.com